The #1 Secret to a Low Stress Family Portrait Session

We all know that family portraits can be stressful.  Sometimes when my clients show up to a shoot it’s very clear that they recently experienced some trauma.  Hopefully by the end of our session those feelings have dissipated, but it’s nice when your shoot starts on a low stress note.  There are a lot of tips I can give you about how to prepare your family for the best portrait session, ever.  (Eat first, bring water, show up on time, don’t put kids in clothes they hate, . . . to name a few.)  After YEARS of photographing MANY families I have found that the number one secret to a low stress family portrait session is . . .

. . . not candy.  Did you think I was going to say candy?  People always think it’s candy.  It’s not candy.  The number one secret to a low stress portrait session is calm parents.   You’re probably thinking candy would be easier, but the truth is that parents who are willing to go with the flow, accept that their children may act out, and have a positive attitude set the example for their kids to have a good time.

Don’t get me wrong.  I understand that as your photographer it is completely up to me to take charge of our session and direct the good times.  I can get shots of your family looking super happy and posed to perfection even if you’re all mad at each other, but I’d rather not.

Because the truth is that even if you all look great in a picture, you will always remember how you felt that day.  I have a picture of my family that brings up a lot of anger and frustration every time I see it.  You can bet that I did not blow that sucker up and put it on my wall or send it to all my favorite people at Christmastime.

I’m going to lay one more harsh truth on you: your family isn’t perfect.  No family is perfect.  Let go of the notion that everything is going to go perfectly on family portrait day.  It’s not.  Be flexible.  Do as much preparation as possible beforehand to reduce the number of stressful surprises.

If Mom and Dad are chill and flexible, kids will feel free to be themselves and that’s really what you want to capture, isn’t it?  True, authentic joy and smiles?

Your family portraits should be a visual representation of how you feel about each other.  Even though your family isn’t perfect, you have no doubt had moments together that felt like heaven.  In those moments, were you stressed about someone’s shirt being untucked or hair out of place?  Or were you happy just being together?

So, dear parents, next time you show up for a family portrait session, (along with some water) don’t forget to bring your chill.